i don't have time for livejournal anymore. no one does. &this upsets me.
i like to write things down because i look back on them &remember things i'd have otherwise forgotten. i also like looking back &thinking how much better things are now.
anyway.
LOTS OF TEXT.

these past few weeks i've been going out a lot more. i've started revisiting cockpit again &so far, i've only bumped into a couple of people i'd rather have forgotten about. it's definitely got better with the addition of power ballads night &decent pop-punk to rival bassment.
in going out more, i've started seeing people i hadn't seen for ages. like last weekend a night out with dave &oddball was something that was long overdue. must make more effort.

i've spent far too much time christmas shopping this month. which is something unheard of for me. the past few years i have spent the week before christmas in a mad panic, buying things online and them not arriving before christmas day. not this year. i'm almost done. a couple more trips to meadowhall/the trafford centre &i'll be all done.

it was sean &i's two year anniversary last month but we both forgot. brilliant. not that it matters at all. we remembered yesterday so i decided to treat myself to this alexander mcqueen scarf on his behalf;


i also got 30% off all my mac makeup on a one day sale at debenhams. i was expecting to fork out like £50 or something &it was actually £34. &then i bought a load of origins skincare stuff because it was 3 for 2. i am a sucker for good marketing.

i dont know what i'm doing over christmas. working christmas eve and new years eve but neither of these facts bother me. christmas is hardly a big deal in our house for various reasons. i'm not sure what i'm doing NYE i have a couple of house party based options but it's always an anti climax.

seans sister alison & her boyfriend neil came to stay at my house on saturday which was nice as they'd never been round. we got drunk and ate and stayed up til 3am. it was weird because alison told me about their mum dying &stuff. seans never ever spoke about it properly &i know more than most that you can't make someone talk about something they're not ready to talk about. but now i know when she died etc atleast i wont put my foot in it. poor kid has been through a lot.

i also found out that seans friend/ex-friend who declared her love for him once he started going out with me &subsequently slagged me off the entire time we were together in manchester. well, she's started offering herself up on a plate again. i can't be bothered to intervene as he has nothing to do with her anymore &he puts up with a fair bit from guys i know doing the same. she's awful &pathetic anyway. but i'll knock a bitch out if i see her again.

i suck at seeing people at the minute. when it's dark i don't feel like doing anything apart from sitting in my pyjamas reading and watching the hills. i need to catch up with so many people. i also definitely need more friends who are girls. when mel can't come shopping with me i genuinely struggle for anyone else who will talk shit with me &walk round town for hours on end. this is pretty sad. i know plenty of girls but they all live too far away these days. plus i can talk til i'm blue in the face to my guy mates about the benefits of fake tan but i don't think they really care.

i'm going to see kevin devine next week, i'm genuinely excited. mad love for kev dev.
i went to see thursday last week, i hadn't listened to them for about a year so i went not expecting much but they were awesome.
i miss being excited about music. all the new bands i hear these days sound the same &they're all so throwaway. it's shit.

anyway, my livejournal keeps crashing &i keep having to rewrite loads &i'm fed up.
gem did this 'where are you at right now in your life' thing so i'mma copy it.

( to bring you up to speed; )

you wish you didn't know me now.
i proper love that kesha song but i dont think i've ever woken up in the morning feeling like p diddy.

i'm having one of those weeks where i keep buying awesome stuff. i think it's cos it's almst christmas so shops have brought out all the good stuff.

firstly;
SNOW FAIRY IS BACK;


oh god it's amazing. i haven't had any since last christmas. it's the best shower gel ever. all pink &sparkly&smells like sweets. i bought the biggest bottle they make. i don't usually buy stuff from Lush because it's pretty expensive and i don't think their skincare stuff is that good. but this is bloody awesome. they now do a solid perfume of it but i might be overdoing it plus i'm not giving up marc jacobs.

as i have too much time on my hands, i spend a worrying amount of this time on makeupalley.com and places like that, reading reviews of hair/makeup/skincare stuff because i made a vow to stop wasting money on rubbish. so i figured by reading reviews of stuff i could buy products that are actually decent.
on there, everyone raves about this facemask that's really cheap so i bought some for $3 &it arrived the other day. it's pretty awesome.

it's proper budget!
it makes your skin feel CLEAN &shrinks your pores &stopped any oil. i've only used it a few times but so far it's bloody good for $3. i can see why everyone was going on about it.

i want this for christmas;

i'm gonna show sean it &hope he takes the hint. otherwise i'll have to flat out ask for it. loooove philosophy stuff &i'm on a things-that-smell-like-confectionary kick at the moment.

i watched jennifers body, it was pretty good. megan fox is literally the hottes thing ever;


it's crazy.
also on friday night we went to hyde park picture house to see Macabre as it's the film festival so there's loads of movies on. i couldn't hack night of the dead cos i'd never stay awake midnight-9am so i just went to see this. it was alright. it got a bit comedy toward the end &i got desensitised to seeing blood EVERYWHERE that it stopped being gory/scary.

what the pissing hell is going on with this;


that on the left, is miley cyrus' 9 year old sister. what the actual fuck? just goes to show their parents actually don't have a clue. she looks like a 50 year old who smokes 60 a day.
am i a paedophile for posting that? who knows. me &mel have done worse. gaslightanthempaedochristmastimes.

yesterday i went to buy a coat because my dad threw mine out. he asked my sister if it was hers &she said "yeah but i don't want it so send it to oxfam". it wasn't hers, it was mine. &i've been cold all week. i ended up buying loads more stuff. none of those christmas presents for someone else. i have made a list of things to buy other people but so far i've only bought this for sean;

i'm toying with the idea of buying him a "bears, beets, battlestar gallactica" tshirt but i think it would be a bit mad.
i watched the jim/pam wedding &cried. CRIED. it was lovely. i want my wedding to be exactly like that. with dwight schrute and everything.
i'm gonna go to meadowhall on wednesday &get grandparents/parents/seans families presents. hopefully.
god knows what i'm gonna buy mel etc. sean just wants a box full of 'little things'...helpful. one of which is a slinky dog off toy story. he's 23.
no one knows what to buy me cos i'm the most impatient person ever, so if i want something i just go buy myself it straight away. like i could have asked for a coat for christmas but to be fair i would have got hypothermia by then.

after shopping yesterday i went round to byrons for a cuppa &we generally just despaired at the state of people.
later i watched xfactor. olly thrusting? yes please. &got ready &went &met pad in town where we got drunk &decided to send his ex messages in the hope of reconciling them &finding me a new friend at the same time? i dunno it seemed like a good idea at the time. she subsequently never replied.
then we went to yeah right with rich, emma, reece, hannah, bobby &sean came &met us. it was DEAD. absolutely dead. for a while it was just me and pad &we felt like dying a bit. it was still pretty fun toward the end but i'm looking forward to power ballads night next week more.

why isn't new hills online? or atleast on the one site i use. ugh need more kristin cavallari amazingness.
5 more days of work with a man who makes donald duck noises, impersonates doctors, rings the canteen staff & asks if i'm pregnant.
i don't know if i can handle it.
oh i saw jimmy carr in town yesterday, looks a bit like he has HIV he's lost far too much weight.

new weezer is awesome.
the album cover is probably the best thing i've ever seen.

right i'm sick of hearing myself say "i can't be bothered" or "i don't wanna do that" or "i hate work" or whatever.
because i'm the first person to get annoyed when people are constantly negative. so before i turn into a massive hypocrite i'm going on a mission to be more posi.
first, i should confess i already am a hypocrite because my uggs arrived &they're the comfiest things ever &i've hardly taken them off my feet. it's gonna be hard to put heels on now. i've promised mel i'll stop wearing them if the soles cave in on themselves and they collapse. deal.

first things first.
get on a diet/actually do some exercise. i'm like a size (and a bit, if i'm honest) bigger than i was a couple of years ago. this entirely coincides with the fact my boyfriend eats enough for a small family &i've got used to eating what/when he does. terrible.
i have a treadmill/rowing machine/pool in my house &i'm still too fucking lazy to get up and do anything. i literally run 3 miles every month when i feel fat. this needs to happen more often.
also i'm vowing to eat better. no more nhs dinner for my lunch &i'm going to resist the temptation of eating all the chocolate at work.

save some money!
i'm off to florida in february and luckily managed to get free flights because i didn't know i'd been saving up airmiles.
however, me &sean want to go again in august for maybe a month so we're gonna need money for that.

fix my fucking hair.
it's been like 3 months since i dyed it from bright red to blonde &it's still not right. fair enough i actually anihillated it when i bleached it 3 times in 1 day from red to ginger but i've been so lazy and it's now so so nearly blonde again but not quite cos i'm useless. i want long hair too. extensions are all good and well when you're inside but as soon as you go outside you're panicking about being able to see the clips or whatever. hassle.

start seeing people i haven't seen for ages.
half of this is down to people actually having real lives with full time jobs and girlfriends/boyfriends and stuff but it's also down to my laziness. like wetherby is 10 minutes from my house yet i haven't seen anyone from wetherby since last christmas. pretty bad.

befriend more girls. i've been saying this for ages but i pretty much only spend time with men &as a result i have a foul mouth &constantly end up dragging boys round topshop who have no good input into anything clothes related. rubbish. plus pad wants a girlfriend and feels i should befriend one for him.

make a career plan. even just make ONE step toward one. this is a big one. for the past 4 years i've had no idea what i want to do. but now it's getting stupid. plus if i sorted this one out i reckon i'd feel 10 times happier with myself. even just applying for more interesting jobs or maybe signing up for a course in sep 2010 &then if i change my mind atleast i have the option. i don't know.

listen to more music.
this is bad, i hardly ever buy/even download albums anymore. i just hear the odd song &never bother to delve any deeper. infact the last full album i listened to was the new brand new album. so i'm starting afresh with this new weezer one &i need to go download way more.

i went to the dentist because my teeth are moving back to how they were before i had a brace. ugghh. &he quoted me £4000 for invisalign braces. i could actually get 6 veneers for that price. i don't know if i want veneers though they seem a bit unpredictable. i'm going to have to shop around for a dentist who doesn't take the piss.

i went to see 'paper heart' that 'documentary' that michael cera &his girlfriend did. it was awful. contrived and fake and ughh. sean loved it. usually i lap up shit like this but this film just made me angry. i couldn't wait for it to end.

oh halloween happened. it was a really good night. saw loads of people &danced a mad amount. i actually miss cockpit a bit. this is the state mel &i were in;




basically i'm going to start doing more stuff, seeing more people &quit complaining all the time.

hopefully this will happen.

because afterall, everything is fucking brilliant really.

add me?
i'm not that interesting.
alternatively you could go find my blogspot but whatever, the best stuff is in here.